Look in the mirror. Turn on your front facing camera. Glance at your reflection in a window.
Do you like what you see?
Try harder. Find three things you like about your appearance. Do you have cute freckles? Is there a charming little gap between your two front teeth? How do your eyes look when you smile? Do you like your ass in those jeans?
Nothing? Why not? You’re ugly & unlovable & not worthy of life?
That, my dear, is complete bullshit.
Every person – every. single. person – is here for a reason. It doesn’t matter if you’re religious or not, what your past is, what people have made you believe about yourself, what horrible things you tell yourself every day. It’s simply true: Everybody has a purpose.
Someone you pass on the sidewalk may be planning to kill themselves until you flash them a smile. An elderly person’s day might be made because you held the door open for them at the grocery store. A bird may get to live because you shooed it out of a building it accidentally became trapped in.
Think about your week. Think about what you’ve been through, what you’ve survived, where you’ve been. Find three more things you like about yourself, about who you are.
Don’t say “nothing”. That’s not an acceptable answer.
Finding three is hard? Come up with a fourth. Practice makes perfect.
Did you recycle? Did you stop for a squirrel in the road? Did you play peekaboo with a baby in line at Target? Did you give someone the benefit of the doubt?
Recycling is conscientious. Stopping for animals is compassionate. Being kind to children is decency. Being open minded & accepting is exactly what they are.
What WONDERFUL attributes those are. We need more like you in the world.
You are worthy of love, kindness, respect, compassion. You are allowed, even ENCOURAGED, to like yourself. Whoever told you that you weren’t was wrong. I don’t care if it was your parents, your first boyfriend, the love of your life, or your best friend.
I don’t even care if it was you.
Because let me tell you something: You owe yourself an apology.
Have you heard the way you talk to yourself?
“Stupid.” “Ugly.” “Useless.” “Fat.” “Forgettable.” “Replaceable.” “Talentless.” “Worthless.” “Unlovable.” “No one likes me, but who can blame them?”
Think about the things you’ve been saying to yourself. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever told yourself? Did you believe you?
Why would you say something so fucking awful to anyone, let alone yourself? Think of the person you love most in the world: Would you say that to them?
This week, I watched Christopher Nolan’s newest film, Dunkirk. There is a scene where one of the characters, feeling awful about what he’s done & how he’s failed, is welcomed home & told he’s done a great job.
“All we did is survive,” he replies angrily.
The old man responds, “That’s enough.”
The next character, only seconds later, learns that the old man is blind. On the train, still wracked by shame, the first character withdraws, saying the old man refused to even meet his eyes. Completely unaware that the man was blind.
Let’s theorize, for just one second, that you are blind. That those who have hurt you are also blind. That this shame & hate you feel is based entirely on the fact that you misconstrued blindness for fact.
Like I said: You owe yourself an apology.
Look at yourself again. Erase that hatred from your mind, even if for just a second. Tell yourself you’re sorry. Tell yourself how grateful you are for yourself.
Look at yourself & say three simple words: I. Love. Me.
Now, for the next five days, I want you to give yourself three compliments each morning. When you feel yourself descending into a spiral of self-hatred, tell yourself to stop, tell yourself you are worthy, tell yourself you are sorry, & tell yourself you are loved.
Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else.
You’re a fucking person, too! Why do you keep forgetting that?
#LovinglyAugust exists for a reason, you beautiful soul.