June Truths | Day 1

You will forgive because you love yourself so much that you don’t want to keep hurting yourself for whatever happened. Whatever happened is done and cannot be changed. And we have to accept that and keep going with our life. – Don Miguel Ruiz

Journal Entry

A list of people I want to forgive:

• My dad for never coming to my tee-ball games, my soccer matches, my choir concerts, or my plays.
• My mom for always being late and forgetting to pick me up entirely.
• The preschool teacher who refused to tell me if my plant needed more water, so I was the only kid in class whose plant died.
• My third grade teacher for telling another teacher that I was the ugliest kid she had ever seen when I was right there to hear her and for constantly lying to my mom about why I had gotten in trouble in class.
• My cousin for all the mean things he says and does to make me feel small and insecure in front of people I care about.
• Myself for maintaining a relationship with the man who raped me.
• My former friends, for not grabbing me by the hand when I was self-destructing.
• My ex best friend, for all those times she reminded me that I didn’t matter as much as she did.
• My ex-boyfriend, for everything. Even the night he took my virginity when I was too drunk to say no anymore.
• My fifth grade teacher, for always comparing me to people I could never hold a candle to.
• The girls in high school who made me cry and bragged about it.
• Myself for always crying when I’m hurt or scared or angry.
• My former boss who I thought was my friend, but told literally everyone except me that I was fired.
• All the people who have stood me up on my birthday.
• My bosses for not caring about me as a human.
• The hospital for always overcharging me but never helping.
• The pharmaceutical companies for making it impossible for me to afford my medicine.
• Insurance companies for seeing me as a number instead of a person.
• Myself for still caring.
• Myself for my depression.
• Myself for my anxiety.
• Myself for not knowing how to make or maintain friendships.
• Myself for never finishing what I start.
• Myself for not being good enough.
• Myself for always taking everything so damn personally.
• Myself for all the times I didn’t stand up for myself.
• Myself for being too trusting.
• Myself for all the people I’ve hurt.
• Myself for all the times I’ve tried to make people feel as bad as I felt.
• Myself for that time I didn’t let Skidz in because he was walking too slow.
• Myself for being too afraid to try.
• Myself for letting my parents down.
• Myself for not having my sister’s back when I should have.
• Myself for all the promises I’ve broken to myself.
• Myself for all the times I’ve shown up for people who never show up for me.
• Myself for having people’s backs who couldn’t care less about me.
• Myself for being too softhearted to call people out when they do me wrong.
• Myself for hating my body.
• Myself for wishing I was dead.
• Myself for all the horrible things I say to myself.
• Myself for making bad decisions.
• Myself for not knowing how to trust.
• Myself for existing.
• Myself for being me.
• Myself
• Myself
• Myself